3/11/13 - 3/15/13 going in a full circle.

haaye bloggers. soo this was not a good way to end the third quarter. honestly , I have let soo many people down &&' i've been selfish in many ways. I let myself down too also. I keep not listening and making the same mistakes over and over again and taking advantage of the privileges i get from leadership and I'm for one taking mr.ing's kindness and patience for granted. i just keep going in a full circle and im not the same anymore. im pushing my friends away *cough cough daisy** and I don't mean it , my leadership classmates are suffering and dealing with the consequences because of mee. It's all because of mee. I'm not thinking , paying attention , listening , making good decisions , being responsible. I doont even think I deserve leadership with all the things that went down this week. Second chances are hardly ever given , i really want one , i'll fix things , learn from my mistakes and move on and start fresh. But once you make a mistake you can't make that same mistake again , it's no accident that the mistake just magically happened once again. it was my choice to do that stupid mistake , it was my decision . soo the question really is , do i deserve this second chance? am i committed to leadership? will I learn from these mistake and bad decisions so I can make things right? &&' be a better person? will i be someone mr.ing can look at and say "I think i made the right choice to let her stay and prove herself that she can better" ?

lately it's been a different story with me. a loot of shit happens too me that hurts but I just suck it up and take cause I know in the end it'll make me stronger. ha. ok why don't we talk about screw up number one this week shall we? ..

okaay soo like my first mistake in this whole circle was that i didn't show up too work. The reason for this is because I was accused of lieing too a sub that i had to leave early and she thought I was trying to skip class but I wasn't and then she made me stay. I know that doesn't make up for me missing my job. the real problem in all of this was I didn't tell heighlee or mr.ing where I was and if I was not coming. my consequence? A102 was my new homeroom.

seecond mistake was skipping my classes . yes there is no excuse for that. Yes I made stupid decisions. yes I am learning from them.

I'm trying to be a better person and trying to make better decisions. I just need to let go of all the bad things that make me sad and make my life hard. okaay well goodbye bloggers. it was really nice to open up and talk about how i feel and how I'm doing. thank you. bye..